i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
