My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
