We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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