i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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