If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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