trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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