After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
