yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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