I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
