Will you blow on my dice?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
