I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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