Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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