tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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