ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
