roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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