Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
