Yo dont text me then not text me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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