Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?

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(443): View more from Maryland

she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar

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(636): View more from Missouri

He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

(314): View more from Missouri

That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

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(937): View more from Ohio

It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar

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(678): View more from Georgia

I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,

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(303): View more from Colorado

We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.

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