Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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