I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize