If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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