he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
