margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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