Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
