I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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