Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
