your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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