You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
