And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
