Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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