really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
