WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
