Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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