I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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