i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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