this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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