It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
