): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
