Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
