just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
