All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
