You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
