the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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