PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
