as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
