Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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