I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
