and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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