Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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