You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
