His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
