yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
