I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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