belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
