If i come over, it means nothing
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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