There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
