The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i came on her dog
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
