Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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