In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
