yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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